How to Sit with Hard Feelings and Navigate Situations Beyond Your Control
Have you ever walked away from a situation feeling uneasy, uncertain about what just happened or what to do next? It’s tough to sit with discomfort, especially when we can’t control the outcome. But the truth is, while we can’t always change external circumstances, we do have control over how we respond.
Learning to sit with difficult emotions and uncertainty is a skill—one that takes patience and practice. Here are some ways to help you manage those hard feelings and make peace with the uncontrollable:
1. Focus on What You Can Control
When faced with an unsettling situation, take a step back and identify what is within your control. This can help you feel more grounded rather than overwhelmed. A helpful exercise is to write down what’s happening and separate what you can control from what you can’t. Then, consider how you want to respond to the aspects beyond your control. This process allows you to pause, reflect, and approach the situation with a clearer mind.
2. Practice Mindfulness to Stay Present
When emotions run high, it’s tempting to distract ourselves—scrolling through our phones, binge-watching TV, or overanalyzing the situation. Instead, try practicing mindfulness to reconnect with the present moment. A simple way to start is by dedicating just 10 minutes a day to deep breathing or body-awareness exercises. These small moments of mindfulness can help you regulate your emotions and regain a sense of control over how you feel.
3. Journal Your Thoughts
Writing is a powerful tool for processing emotions. When you put your thoughts onto paper, you might begin to notice patterns—what triggers your distress, what you’re holding onto, and what’s truly beyond your control. Journaling can also help quiet racing thoughts by giving them a tangible place to exist outside of your mind.
4. Challenge Cognitive Distortions
Sometimes, our thoughts trick us into seeing situations as worse than they really are. These cognitive distortions can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. For example, if a friend is going through a tough time and doesn’t react to your kindness in the way you’d hoped, you might assume you did something wrong. But in reality, they’re just processing their own emotions. Recognizing these irrational thoughts allows you to shift your perspective and let go of unnecessary worry.
5. Embrace Discomfort as Part of Growth
Sitting with hard feelings isn’t easy, but it’s part of being human. When we accept that discomfort is a natural part of life, we can stop resisting it and start learning from it. By practicing these techniques, you’ll build resilience and confidence in handling uncertainty and difficult emotions.
If you’re struggling with difficult feelings and need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You can contact us at hello@kaplanpsychotherapylcsw.com—we’re here to help.